CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
