i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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