I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize