Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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