Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize