I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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