im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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