How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
