help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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