just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
