so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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