i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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