I skipped work to stalk him.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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