are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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