i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
