If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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