I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
