I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Watching her eat just hurts me
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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