I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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