my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
