i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
there was a trapeze. enough said
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
