I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
