Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
