Barsexuality is the new black.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
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She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
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I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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