you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm having to shit out rocks
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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