Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
my liver is dry heaving
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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