just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
