Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Acid is not a monday night drug
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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