Dual....:-)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
