Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
