she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
