I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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