She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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