just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
