you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize