Pappa wants mamma naked
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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