I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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