Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Can Purell be used as lube?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
