Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
