I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
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