I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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