So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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