i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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