Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
