Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
