Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I AM VODKA MAN
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
