Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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