I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize