You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
True strength comes from lack of pants
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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