I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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