Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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