I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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