my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize
