In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
