Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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