she looked like the before picture.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
