I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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