just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
